Childhood Emotional Neglect and Complex PTSD and How it Affects Relationships
These two topics are complementary. There are two books that I just completed reading that identify the root cause of my personal challenges with relating to myself and others. If you are affected by one of these, you likely have the other. Childhood Emotional Neglect is the idea that there are things that you didn’t receive in childhood that your parents should have taught you. Namely how to feel and use your emotions to drive your decisions and build your sense of self. This lack of emotional nurturance is passed down generationally. If your parents were neglectful in this area, then their parents likely were also. It comes from an…
Quieting the Inner Critic for a Better Outlook on Life
There is a voice inside you that can kick you when you are down, criticize the way you performed an activity, or beat you up for making a mistake. This internal voice is extremely destructive to the way you feel about yourself, your self-esteem and confidence and yet it is coming from inside of you. How did it get there? This voice is often called the inner critic and it was given to you when you were a small child by one or both of your caretakers. The sad part about this is that it is all lies. For many of us it is the source of our guilt and…
Your Intuition and Trusting Yourself
One on of the biggest hurdles I had to face was to get in touch again with my intuition. It was always there, but I had dimmed it down to a whisper, so it was easier to ignore. As part of my journey I looked for ways to wake this part of my soul back up. This is what led me down the path to exploring spirituality from a different perspective including; Tarot, Astrology, Numerology, dream journaling, automatic writing, tracking synchronicities, and looking for evidence of your spirit guides in nature. Much of this work involves getting in touch with your inner knowing using the body’s energy field. There are…
Narcissism, Echoism and Abuse in Adult Relationships
Narcissism is one of those topics with a lot of emotional energy attached to it, due to the extreme pain experienced by anyone that becomes romantically involved with people with personality disorders. If you go on the internet there is a tidal wave of information about narcissism. There are a lot of Ph. Ds and life coaches giving their approaches. I have watched a LOT of videos on this topic but the one thing you need to keep in mind is that these behaviors occur on a spectrum and not everyone falls into the clinically disordered category. To be fair, there is also healthy narcissism. This is what creates a…
Insecure Attachment Styles and Childhood Trauma
Your attachment style is formed in early childhood. Anywhere from 6 weeks – 10 months old you developed behaviors in reactions to your caregivers. If you parents did a good job in parenting, you most likely have a Secure attachment style. Lucky You! 50 – 60% of the population has this style. If your caregivers were not consistent in their parenting, or there were other issues in the family such as a chemical dependency, mental illness, or neglect, you likely have an Insecure attachment style. Your attachment style informs your sense of safety and influences your ability to bond with others. These learned behaviors become most evident in your closest…
Co-Dependency’s seeds are sown in childhood.
The behaviors of co-dependency are learned in childhood as an effort to get your needs met from your caregivers. Oftentimes, your parents are not able to meet some or all of you physical and emotional needs due to some type of chemical dependency, mental illness, abuse or their own co-dependency that is keeping them focused on a disordered partner. As a result, the child learns any or all of the following behaviors to keep them safe. However, when carried into adulthood they can manifest into unhealthy behaviors with romantic partners and is often also present in your interactions with friends, family and coworkers. Caretaking – Feeling Responsible for solving others…
Get acquainted with your Inner Child
Your early childhood experiences have a huge effect on how you interact with others in all your adult relationships. The role you played in your family of origin has impacts on your life. It is vital to understand the part you played in your family, especially if you were part of a dysfunctional one. If you are unaware of this child lives inside of you, is an immature part of you. It can hijack your emotions and cause unconscious reactions to people and situations when something from your early experiences triggers a memory that evokes an automatic response. If you are not cognizant of its presence, it is running you…
Starting your Journey through Psychoanalysis
It seems like most people entertain the idea of going to therapy only when they have exhausted all other efforts to “fix” what isn’t working with their lives. It is unfortunate we aren’t all encouraged to do this earlier in life, as it could set us up for healthy course correction before we reach the midlife-crisis age. My decision to go was based on my curiosity around why I had ignored my own feelings and tolerated the resulting pain in my relationship for such a long span of time. Why did I do this? Why didn’t I speak up for myself? I was at a loss, so I turned to…
Quieting the mind with Meditation
This is a big topic to cover in my first post. However, one of my first challenges was getting a hold over racing thoughts and my emotions. I was so unfocused and dis-regulated I could hardly function. I experienced my first panic attack ever, and it scared me. I had difficulties staying present at work and at night my mind would race, and I couldn’t sleep. My first step was trying to get a handle over my thought so that I could calm down. Meditation has been proven to help all types of issues from stress, depression, anxiety, addiction, controlling pain and addressing trauma in the body. The up side…
